Full Moon – Intentional Aloneness

Having found no companion
who has travelled at least as far as ourselves,
it is better to go alone
than to accompany those
who remain irresolute.

DHAMMAPADA v. 61

It can be tempting to turn the pain of loneliness into an enemy. An alternative approach might be to get interested in the relationship we have with the very feeling of loneliness. When mindfulness is not sufficiently embodied, we tend to following the habit of looking around in our heads for a solution to suffering. The Buddha’s solution is the Four Foundations of Mindfulness, which begins with the body. Can we feel lonely, not just think about how to stop feeling lonely? If we connect with the raw condition of suffering, learning to relinquish our addiction to abstract thinking, then perhaps we will discover we can be our own good friend. Instead of always looking outside for that object, or that relationship, that we believe will give us a feeling of wholeness, we can look inwards. In so doing, it’s possible you might start meeting others seeking the solution to their suffering by befriending themselves.

(This post is also available to view at dhammakatha.org)